Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Once Upon a Time… My First Love.

I realize this will probably take my reputation from slightly dorky to Super Nerd, but I am going to share anyway.

My first love was simply…


As soon as I learned how to read, I became an avid lover of words... I read anything and everything in sight.

As a kid, I could not wait for my mom to take me to the library. I was this short, pudgy-faced little girl with thick round glasses and a blond side-ponytail, carrying out a teetering stack of books as tall as I was. I read every single one of them and begged to go back for more. When I got old enough to realize there was a "teen" section, I remember sticking R.L. Stine's "Fear Street" series in between my Babysitter's Club books to check out so Mom wouldn't see. She didn't want me reading anything too "racy" (yet she obviously trusted me enough to not check my stack. Ha!)

I was always the first to finish my 500 reading minutes in school and get my free Pizza Hut pan pizza (did y’all have that Book It program? I loved it! …but that’s probably what attributed to the pudginess =) Sometimes I even read my brother’s assigned books and then told him what they were about so he didn't have to! (he was in the grade above me)

Writing is so much fun, but I fell in love with reading because it is effortless, and back then, it gave me the perfect distraction. When my home-life was upside down, I was able to dive into someone else’s thoughts and imagination and completely escape my world.

As an adult, I am still in love.

I have had a lot of people say, “oh you should totally get a kindle!” and yes, a kindle would probably save a few trees and some space on my book shelf… but I am just not interested.

It wouldn’t be the same. I like the feeling of a book in my hands: turning the pages, slipping in a bookmark when I come to a stopping point... sometimes highlighting or folding a corner down when there is something particularly thought-provoking. I kind of think of a Kindle as electronic drums… sure, they serve their purpose, but they don’t come close to the sound and experience of the real thing. No offense to Kindles of course- I just obviously have a little sentimental attachment to books ;)

Besides, bookstores are one of my “happy places”. The smell of freshly-printed paper and ink, usually mixed in with some fresh-brewed coffee; it’s intoxicating… Seeing all the “New Release” tables, looking at all the authors’ hard-work and dedication paying off… it gives me this weird sense of contentment and longing. It feels like a second home. I am guessing it would be the same feeling a craft-lover would get walking into Hobby Lobby, or a tech geek might get at Micro Center (ehhemm. Goose.)

I am sure the bookstore owners around here think I am a total freak because if I have the time (which is rare these days) I go to a store and can spend hours walking around, looking at everything…. every genre, every title, picking up books and reading the first 6 chapters back-covers... sometimes dreaming of my bio gracing the inside cover of a best-seller ;)

That’s why I have to cut myself off from the internet sometimes. There are so many amazing writers out there. I can spend hours reading all of their stories. Seriously, I am amazed some of my friends don’t have a professional column or book out right now (y’all get on that, and maybe it will motivate me to do it too =).

So what about you~ do you have a first love? a "happy place"?

Monday, June 28, 2010

First Place! nope, NOT me.

Mckmama- Not Me Monday

Go check out Mckmama's fab blog for more NOT me Monday posts

I would NEVER start out this weekend by pawning my kids off on my brother so me and my sis-n-law could go shopping and out to dinner for my aunt’s bday…


I was NOT way too excited to be kid-free for a night, and I did NOT celebrate by spending way too much money on items I didn’t really need.

On Saturday, I got up early to run a small 5k with my aunts and uncle.

I did NOT almost pass out crossing the finish line, and I was NOT totally shocked when I won first place in my age division (Gina and Tanya also placed in theirs). I wasn’t that fast, but their were only 11 in my age group, and I guess they were beginners too! =)



That afternoon, we took the twins to their first movie. ever.

I am NOT the type of mom who would take pictures all over the theater to immortalize the moment.

Toy Story 3

(Cousin Nora, Nolan, Cousin Mason, Ty)

For family night, we did NOT decide to put on a talent show with the kids… all 10 of them (and this is just my immediate family)

10 kids

The show did NOT include such hits as: Eye of the Tiger…aka “the punching song”, the Silly Bandz rap, and the Veggie Tales theme song. It was NOT the sweetest. thing. ever. (and of course, I did NOT video tape the whole thing)

On Sunday, Goosers and Reese weren’t feeling so hot… I definitely did NOT escape with the twins to go swimming after church and leave my husband at home to take care of himself… I am a much better wife than that.

Oh, and one more thing.

I definitely do NOT enjoy taking really dorky pictures of my kids…


…and I definitely will NOT save them in their scrapbooks to use for future embarrassment.

So what did you "NOT" do this weekend?

Friday, June 25, 2010

I’m Getting Old: Silly Bandz Edition

If they haven’t hit your town yet…

don’t worry, they’re comin.

Soon your kids will be sportin 100s, counting them every night, trading them with total strangers their friends .

It’s True.

Silly Bandz are taking over.

It seems like only yesterday I was smack in the middle of slap bracelets, Pogs, and the beanie baby phenomenon of the 90s. (although to be honest, I didn’t actually collect these things… I was poorasdirt way too cool for things like that) ... but I remember going to friends’ houses that had their shelves and closets COVERED with beanie babies… their parents spending ridiculous amounts of money to buy them the most “rare” ones.

And now I have children who are old enough to get into the newest fad; who actually begged to pool their change together and buy 2 packs of silly rubber band bracelets and spent the rest of the day talking about how awesome they were and switching them back and forth.


When I first seen Silly Bandz, my reaction was, Ummm no. what a dumb thing to spend money on...

But then I thought, well they are cheap and they give the kids something to talk about and a way interact with each other. Plus, the boys bought them with “their” money… so it is a financial lesson too. =)


But man, am I really ready for them to act this grown up?

They are only FOUR!!

Nolan is already getting particular about what he wears and Ty thinks he has three girlfriends!


What’s next, driver’s licenses and prom?

At least I still have Reesie.

I’m pretty sure he wants to be a baby forever ;)

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

5 Reasons Why I'm Not...

...a good blogger.

1. I am potty-training my 2 year old son. He is more stubborn than the twins combined. If you think potty-training one kid would be a breeze after training twins simultaneously, you'd be wrong.

Yesterday, as I was about to get on the computer, I hear,

"Wooooohoooo, Slip-n-Slide!!!" coming from the hallway. My naive self thinks, oh great, the boys must have spilled some water and are sliding around in it.

I turn the corner to see Reese standing there in his wet undies with a big smile on his face.

It definitely.
wasn't. water. they were sliding around in.


2. I'm back in school. I am a complete
over-achiever when it comes to college, and even though I am only taking one summer class online, it takes up a lot of my allotted "internet" time.

3. I lost my camera cord- the one that plugs into the computer so I can upload my pics. Y'all know I love having lots of pictures in my posts, and I don't know how I can get them uploaded without that cord... (have I mentioned how much I dislike Sony products? any other camera I could just take out the card and pop it in my laptop)

4. I am neurotic and way too hard on myself. I write and write. And then I go back over it, edit it, correct it, re-write it… then I am still not happy so I don’t post it. There have been so many entries I have posted that I want to take down because I don’t like how they are written. I realize I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, especially with my blog (I mean hello! it is mostly family that reads it, and y'all don’t care if I misspell a word or have too many run-on sentences, right?)

This is why I should be going to school to become an editor. I would love getting paid to read and edit other people's work. Hmmm, is it too late to change my major back to English? =)

5. I read this “10 Mistakes Bloggers Make” post on Michael Hyatt's website and I realized I do almost all of them. HA!

The worst one is inconsistency, obviously I have none with my blog. I have never been a routine person, but I really want to be!

I think I need a schedule.

I am putting this out there so maybe I will actually hold myself to it =)

I am going to start posting 3 times a week- and I have to do the NOT-me-Mondays and the Spiritual Sundays again because they are my favorite!

BTW, I found out you can order a printed scrapbook version of your blog, which I totally want to do!

Has anyone else done this?

Monday, June 7, 2010

Miscellany Monday: I gotta bone to pick with you, James Cameron.


Is there anything better than summer shenanigans with the kiddos??

I think not... the only thing that could have made it better is if the slip-n-slide was about 20 feet longer and I had brought my swimsuit.


I must be getting soft in my old age. We came across a stray dog this weekend and I actually took her home
(seriously unlike me, you should have seen the look on Goose's face). She is a sweet dog- no barking or jumping all over the boys. She played fetch with a tennis ball… went running with me in the neighborhood- I actually became pretty attached to her (I know, right?)

Then, I found someone was looking for her on Craigslist… apparently she has been missing for over a week, so we have to take her home. =(

Now I am on a search to find a new perfect pup... every little boy needs a dog, right?


Seen Avatar this weekend (you know, cause me and goose are always the first to see a good movie)…

*Magical tree where mystical people in loincloths worship nature and their ancestors… big greedy Americans come to tear it all down for monetary gain…. Tough guy goes in and learns their ways- falls in love with the leader’s daughter*

I think I’ve seen this movie before… oh wait.

I have.

Way to go James Cameron… you made 500 buzillion dollars from a script you ripped off from a 1990s kid’s movie
(although to be fair, Hollywood doesn’t really do anything original these days).

I just hope the writer of Ferngully got paid for his story ;)

(apparently I wasn't the only one who thought this)

Miscellany Monday @ lowercase letters

Read more Random Monday posts over at Carissa's blog (or just check it out cause it is one of my faves =)

Friday, June 4, 2010

A Few Good Men.

I am tryin out new Friday Follows Today- One of my favorite blogger friends, Laura, i.e. the Purse Blogger wrote something super sweet about me in her interview with FF. She has a Fabulous Blog that you should check out if you haven't already! =)


As most of you know, the main reason I started this blog was to update family and friends about my kiddos.

...or more-so, to document all the ridiculous things that they say and do every week. I have not written about them in a coon's age, so I know y'all must be dying to know what they have been up to.

Because I don't want to write another novel
(sorry about the last post... geeeeez.)

I will simply give you the

#3: The Sweetest Moment-

While I was making breakfast the other day, I hear the boys climbing on the table and Nolan says, "Come on guys, put your hands in..."

I turn around and see this:

Then they all start saying
"All for one, and one for all!"

Cutest. darn. thing. I ever seen.
(I am guessing they had a 3 musketeers special on Dora that day =)

They actually play great together when no one is paying attention...

Look at Nolan helping them out of their "house" i.e. the hole in the front yard that we should probably get filled in one of these days.

What a sweetheart he can be =)

#2: "Thinks he's funny" Moment:

After finishing a nice cook-out dinner at the beach and cleaning up, my family and I were sitting around the living room and
(my 2 year old) Reese walks over, his mouth slap full of something...

I say, "ummm, Reese baby, what are you eating?"

He replies, "Cheeeeeeese-buger!!"
(everyone laughs)

I say, "oh, really... where did you get that cheeseburger?"

He replies
(with a huge grin on his face), "CHAASSSS-CANN!"

(everyone laughs harder as I try to pull the remaining trash-can burger from his hand.)

And #1: The Most Disgusting Moment
(Another Reese story of course... if you have a weak stomach or don't have kids yet, you might want to stop reading here.)

pooped in his potty... yeah... not. celebrating. that one.

Why you may ask?

Because immediately after pooping in his kiddy potty, he reached in, picked it all up, and set it on the floor.

THEN, as I was cleaning up said floor, the grossest kid ever Mr. Reese decided to sneak into
MY bathroom (diaper-less of course) and proceeds to poop... again. then plays in poop. then wipes poop all over cabinets and white hand towels. then opens drawers and plays with mommy's toiletries and jewelry with poop-covered fingers.

and he did ALL of this in a matter of minutes...

It was like this horrible scene from a sitcom that you just couldn't imagine ever happening in real-life.
I don't even have a weak stomach... but dude, the kid has made me dry-heave more times than I can count.

Poor little guy, he has some serious embarrassing stories coming his way when he is a teenager.

I almost feel bad about it. ;)


Thursday, June 3, 2010


Home today... just home.

Goose is at work, then band practice tonight, so I have the whole day to myself... can't say that I am all that excited about it.

June 3rd… just had to be a Thursday too didn't it?

Exactly 6 months from the day we said hello and goodbye to our sweet baby girl. The date probably hasn't crossed my sweet hubby’s mind... and that’s okay. When it comes to Evie, I have a very inward thought and grief process. I just deal with it on my own because honestly, that is what is most comfortable to me. Goose is there for me when I need to talk
(or simply need a shoulder to sob on)... I don’t expect him to go through the exact same emotions. Of course, he misses Evie and grieves her, but he only got to meet her for a day… I had almost 9 months with her, and as most moms know, the baby bond starts long before the actual birth.

I am sure you all have noticed by my horrible blogging habits… I have become increasingly impatient with sitting still and hanging out online. Most days I load the boys up and head out: to the grocery store, the park, family/friends house... it gets my mind off of things.

Being left alone with my thoughts was getting me nowhere. I have found with emotional pain, there is no “working it out.” Grief isn’t like a test where you do the homework, read the books, study real hard and at the end you wrap it up and make a good grade. You don’t go through the 5 stages and then move on with your life content and fulfilled. You are "moving on" from day one because, unfortunately, the world doesn’t stop revolving so that you can go cry into your pillow for six months.

The grief simply rides along as you go through the motions, eventually settling in, and you get used to life with this permanent ache. Some days it feels like a pounding migraine... and some days it's a little paper cut... but it's always there.

I look through Evie's “box” when I can… all her things from my shower and the hospital, blankets, pictures, notes and cards… I watched the DVD from the 3d ultrasound place we went to. Sometimes after losing a baby, you will hold on desperately to anything that makes them feel real...

reminding you that it wasn’t just a dream...

Seeing her moving around, yawning, crossing her legs… her heart beating in the video was beautiful…

She was here. She was alive.

It is hard sometimes, but I don't let myself dwell on the “if-onlys” because no matter how much time I spend sitting around thinking about having a 6 month old baby girl in the house right now, enjoying all the “firsts", making bottles, burping, and buying little jars of baby food… it doesn’t change the reality of what has happened.

I fully realize I will never stop missing her in this life.

The emptiness in my arms will always be there to some extent... the fact that Evie was my only daughter does make the loss more obvious. After having 3 boys, I wanted a girl so badly... the contrast between boys and girls is so dramatic and I know that raising a daughter would have made things very different for us as parents and for our little boys as big brothers.

So lately, when I feel overwhelmed... I just try to thank God for her, even on the days when I don’t feel very thankful… because that is all I can do... focus on the good moments… the love I feel for her and my boys… the love God showed us through the people in our lives. I am extremely grateful to everyone who reached out to us. I saved all the cards, emails, messages that we received. I find a lot of comfort in hearing that someone was touched by Evie’s story. It makes me happy to know that her short life had meaning to others outside of our family.

BTW, I was a terrible mess with thank you cards after the memorial service -I can’t remember who I sent what to- so please, please know, for everyone who came to see us, or sent flowers, meals, cards, prayers and hugs. We are eternally grateful and we will never forget your kindness. =)


I realize this is a lot to keep inside and not talk about… but that is why I write. It frees me from having my feelings bottled up and cuts out the awkwardness of trying to talk about this stuff with someone who hasn’t been through it themselves.

The honest truth is, this blog started out as a way to let family and friends know what is going on with the pregnancy and our boys. After everything happened with Evie, it became an outlet
(and often a distraction) for me to get through the days.

Lately, I have been wondering if I have the energy to keep up with it
(seriously, I am not a technology lover… facebook, blogging, and twitter… sometimes it is too much for me).

Just writing though… that part is easy.

That is what I love.

Just telling my truths, spilling the thoughts that invade my mind day to day, wading through the experiences, dissecting who I am... and revealing my journey with God and where He has brought me over the past year... it is the best type of therapy.

I would like my blog to get back to that…

Raw. Simple. Honest.

(and of course I will have to add in some silly little boys’ stories, I know you have missed them!)

So that's where this blog is headed...

Hopefully y'all won't mind =)

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

getting in touch with nature