Monday, September 21, 2009

Rainy Days

I decided Monday is my "school-free" day. I spend Sunday nights getting everything done that I procrastinated on throughout the week, and I do not even want to think about anything school related by Monday. Especially after I spend 6 hours Sunday trying to make a group project something even remotely acceptable to turn in.

We have another ultrasound appointment on Thurs. It will be nice to see how baby Evie is doing; maybe I can ask the Doc to do the 3D ultrasound again. She is definitely active, kicking and spinning like crazy!

We found out that Dave and I are not carriers of any chromosome abnormalities, so this is a "de novo" thing, which means it is "new" to her. I was not surprised and I am relieved that we are not carriers; I really didn't want to think about the boys possibly being carriers and having to worry about how this would affect them when they are ready to have kids.

Anyway, we are headed to St. George on Friday. I can't even begin to explain how much I am looking forward to this vacation. We could all use a serious break, and Lori and Jim's beach house could quite possibly be the most relaxing place on Earth.

Please continue praying for us and baby Evie =)

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Busy, Busy, Busy

We seen the cardio fetal specialist today, and he confirmed the VSD in baby Evie's heart. He told us that it is a very common heart problem and is very treatable. If it does not close on its own, then she will probably have surgery when she is 3-6 months old... I can't even imagine that, but he did say it is a common surgery with great results.

Thankfully, that is the only issue with her heart! We are praying for God to heal her VSD so she won't have to go through surgery so young, but I know he will watch over her regardless! She kept kicking the Dr. today when he was doing the ultrasound. It made him laugh. She is really strong, and I think she was fed up with getting poked. =)

Hopefully, we will get our blood results tomorrow... then, I am taking a break from Dr.s appointments. I mean, there is only so much they can tell us until she is born.

In other news, I got accepted to UGA! Now I have to work on my application and essay for the teaching program, which is due by January. Hopefully, I can get through this last semester at GPC. I am taking 6 classes again (what was I thinking?) but then I will be done at perimeter... I won't start at UGA until next August so at least I will have spring semester off.

Busy, busy, busy, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Evelyn Naomi

We gave our daughter a name. This is the first time a name came to us and I instantly knew it was the name we were going to use. I liked Evelyn because it is the name of my great-grandmother, and I really wanted to use a family name. We couldn't figure out a middle name that we liked.

Within a week of finding out all this stuff about the baby, my sister, myself, and my pastor at church all came upon the same verses:

Acts 3

2And a certain man lame from his mother's womb was carried, whom they laid daily at the gate of the temple which is called Beautiful, to ask alms of them that entered into the temple;
6Then Peter said, Silver and gold have I none; but such as I have give I thee: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth rise up and walk. 7And he took him by the right hand, and lifted him up: and immediately his feet and ankle bones received strength. 8And he leaping up stood, and walked, and entered with them into the temple, walking, and leaping, and praising God.

9And all the people saw him walking and praising God: 10And they knew that it was he which sat for alms at the Beautiful gate of the temple: and they were filled with wonder and amazement at that which had happened unto him.

Then, that same week I had to read a poem for my creative writing class. The poem was:

By: Naomi Shihab Nye

When I saw the name of the author I thought, hmmm Naomi, that's a pretty name.

Then, I looked it up and in Hebrew, Naomi means Beautiful/Pleasant... Evelyn means Life...

So that was it...

I am sure we will call her Evie for short, Ty likes that name the best =)

Focus on the Good

I realize that it is human nature to look at the worst possible scenarios, to assess the risks and the possibilities. It is difficult to not think of "what if" when it comes to this pregnancy. I feel rather helpless sometimes because we just don't know what the future holds. We don't know what God has in store for our daughter. I know He has a great purpose and plan for her; we just don't know what that is yet.

It is also kind of a lonely feeling. The thoughts and emotions you feel can't really be expressed to someone who isn't in this situation. We both have amazing support around us from everyone we know, but we don't know anyone who has been through this. I don't know any kids personally that are not totally healthy, which in itself is wonderful and praiseworthy. I have found some interesting groups on the internet though. It helps to read stories from people who have went through all the uncertainty and waiting for a diagnosis that really doesn't tell you anything. Much better than looking at medical websites which are horrible and overwhelming.

So I have been making myself focus on positive things. It is really hard to be depressed or stressed when you focus on how blessed you are. These are some of the things I focus on when I start getting disheartened:

1. I know Jesus. There are millions of people out there who do not have Hope. I know that the only reason I am alive is because of Him. I could not imagine going through life, especially the difficult times, without His guidance and grace.

2. My marriage- I get to spend everyday with my best friend. Even on the worst days, we can make each other laugh. He is the most amazing dad, and he works his butt off so that I can stay home with the boys and finish my education. I really try not to take him for granted.

3. My kids- I have good kids. They are hilarious and imaginative and smart. They can drive me crazy, but they can pull me out of a bad mood in a second. I am glad to have the opportunity to be a mother.

There are so many more, but just these three are enough to satisfy me~

To be continued...

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Happy Birthday Goosers!

Dave is 29 years OLD today. One more year to the big 3-0... We will probably head up to Provinos for dinner tonight with the fam, and maybe a get-together with friends this weekend.

If you have been around Nolan and Ty lately, you would know that they pretend to be different people or characters practically every day. And it last all day long. They will not answer me unless I call them the right name. Today's characters are Marina and Shout from the Fresh Beat Band(nick jr)... Ty is Marina; he always chooses to be the girl... hmmmm.

Reese believes he is an only child, and Ty and Nolan are just visiting... He is just the sweetest baby in the world, but he gets mad if the other 2 are taking up our attention... and he is the biggest daddy's boy. He cried his little eyes out when Dave left this morning.

I love my boys! =)

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Evie's Story: The Beginning

My husband, David, and I became parents to our first children, fraternal twin boys in Dec. 2005. Twins do not run in our families and we were not using fertility treatments so it was quite a shock to us to learn I was carrying two little lives. The boys were born at 36 weeks, vibrant and healthy. We left the hospital on Christmas Eve and got to spend Christmas day at home, basking in the glow of our new additions. Two years later, I became pregnant with another little boy. The pregnancy was uneventful, and we welcomed our sweet baby in March 2008.

Now, pregnant for the third time, we went to our 20 week appointment in August. The ultrasound technician confirmed we were expecting a little girl due December 30th. I still wasn’t convinced it was a girl; something just did not feel right. I did not realize that my maternal intuition ringing had little to do with the baby’s gender.

Then, as David and I sat in a stark, cold room, the doctor dropped a bomb on us. He told us that our baby was showing multiple abnormalities: a ventrical septal defect (heart), omphalacele (abdomen), and a club foot.

I was in absolute shock.  A nightmare had just turned into reality. I felt like I was watching a scene out of a movie. This was not happening; this was someone else’s life. I thought, “I have three healthy boys at home, and no one in my family has ever had these problems. How could this happen?” I just prayed over and over in my head, “Jesus, help me.” The doctor said that because there was more than one issue, he would send us to an ultrasound specialist and we could figure out if this was part of a syndrome or a chromosomal disorder. 

So with tears streaming down my face, I walked out of the doctor’s office. I couldn’t think. David hugged me and said, “It is going to be okay. Whatever it is, we will get through it.”  At first, my family was devastated but we quickly began to pray and feel the Lord’s presence in this situation. We decided to name her Evelyn Naomi; Evie for short.

After several more appointments and tests, we learned that our daughter has a rare chromosomal abnormality. In short, a large part of her third chromosome is duplicated. This is such a rare diagnosis; it has been very difficult finding information about it. There have only been a handful of cases ever recorded, and none with her exact duplication. Man's prognosis for our daughter is bleak and disheartening. We, of course, do not believe men have the final say in her life. 

The doctors call her a “fluke” but to us she is already a miracle. Most babies with these issues are miscarried in the first trimester. They asked us twice if we wanted to terminate the pregnancy. The thought of ending my baby girl’s life just because she isn’t perfect breaks my heart. She has made it this far; obviously God has a purpose and plan for her.

I have went through a roller coaster of thoughts about my faith and God. At first, I wondered if this was a form of discipline God was using to wake us up and transform us into better, stronger people. After reading endless blogs and stories of families who went through losing a newborn with a fatal diagnosis, and those living with a child with severe special needs, I wonder if God is giving us this child as a testimony for His unbiased love. I often wonder if this is a test of our faith, that if we just believe, He will heal her.

The point is: I don’t know God’s perfect will, but I trust Him. I don’t know what He has in store for my daughter just like I don’t know what He has in store for my other children. Does that mean I love her any less? That my hope for her is any less? I trust Him with my whole life. I have to trust Him now as He is weaving her together moment by moment. Only He knows the days ordained for each of us. He knows what we can and can not handle.

There is one thing I am positive of; God has chosen us to be her parents. She was formed for this moment in time, and she will be a testimony of His great love and mercy. We thank God for our miracle every day. I savor every roll and kick, and I can’t wait to hold this special life in my arms.

Thank you for your prayers and love! 

Psalm 139:13-16:

13For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my mother's womb.
14I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.
15My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;
16Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in Your book were all written
The days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not one of them.